Emotional Response

Are we too controlling as coaches when it comes to the emotional responses of our players?

When a player responds emotionally, he’s telling you a lot about himself. We don’t usually like to see emotional responses from our guys - especially negative ones - and we tend to jump on them quickly. Somebody misses an open shot or turns the ball over and lets out some frustration, and we want them to move past it. “Next play, let’s go!” We don’t want any negative energy in the gym, and the ability to move on quickly is seen as a sign of mental toughness.

We don’t want a player getting emotional to impact the next play. Or do we? Granted, if a player gets frustrated and then can’t focus on the next job at hand, that’s a problem. But what if a little bit of anger serves as motivation and turns into energy on the next play? What if it helps sharpen his focus? I think we often jump on a negative response because we think it looks bad or we just don’t want to see it in our gym. But is there value in seeing an emotional response? I think there is.

First of all, you have to let your players be themselves. Some people wear their emotion on their sleeve while others hardly show any at all. I’m not sure you can - or should want to - control that. The important thing is their ability to move on to the next most important thing. And everyone handles that a little differently. I think there are some players who need to let out some emotion to be able to get past what just happened. If you jump on them right away, you may actually frustrate them even more.

Emotion will also allow you to learn about your players - how mature are they, how do they handle challenges, how much it matters to them. I’m not saying it’s the only way to understand your guys, but it is a way to get to know them better. To see them react naturally to what is going on around them, and to see if they can handle it. If you let it happen in practice and watch it play out, you’ll get a better understanding of how your guys might handle the pressure of a big spot in a game. You can get a better window into the mindset of your players and how you can coach them better.

I’m not saying negative emotion - or any emotion at all - is always a good thing. But it can be productive in the big picture. It’s a way for you to learn more about your players and the best approach to making them better. You have to be intentional about how you deal with it - I don’t think adding more emotion to the situation is the best way - and you have to know what’s best for your team and players. You also have to coach to your own personality. A lot of coaches are on their kids about emotional responses, but are out of control emotionally themselves. What message does that send?

Don’t be too quick to jump on your guys for an emotional response. The fact that they really care is a good thing. The games are going to be emotional. It’s how they handle their emotions - and most importantly, how you coach them to handle them - that is really crucial. An emotional response isn’t always a bad thing.