First Responder
How do you handle setbacks? There is a great chapter in Daniel Coyle’s “The Culture Code” about Gregg Popovich and the Spurs, after having just lost game 6 of the NBA finals to a Ray Allen’s famous dagger three-pointer off of a loose ball rebound. The Spurs had a restaurant rented out for the celebration, and Popovich had his team go to the restaurant to be together, even after the loss. One of his assistants described it as “filling their cups.” The Spurs went on to lose game 7 of that series, but came back to win the NBA title in 2014, and almost everyone around the Spurs attributes that title to a mindset that started the night after losing game 6 to the Heat.
The concept of “filling their cups” is an interesting one, something that isn’t easy to think about as a head coach in the moment. When yo lose a game, especially a big one, you immediately want answers, you want to speak, you want to figure out what happened. We like to have discussions in the locker room right after a game, and I realized in those moments what I was saying was more based in emotion than it was fact. I had a college coach who never went into the locker room after a game, he’d simply just write “Practice, tomorrow, 4:00” on the board, win or lose.
Why are we so intent on figuring it out right after the game? Most of that is about us, and how we feel. I do think there is value in making sure your team’s mentality is still okay after a tough loss, just to keep everybody positive and believing in what you are doing. But important decisions and messages should rarely be delivered right after a game, win or lose. The most important thing is to figure out what your team needs, and dismiss how you are feeling. A lot more negative than positive can come out of a post-game speech after a tough loss.
Fill their cups. Get them back to the right place mentally, and then you can start coaching them and making them better, usually the next day. I was struck by this set of Field Notes from Admired Leaders, about how leaders should show up like first responders after a tough loss:
After a major setback, mishap, or defeat, the best leaders don’t immediately act like cheerleaders. Rather, they show up more like first responders.
Just as real-world technicians who are trained to respond immediately to an emergency situation, the best leaders are first on the scene after a setback to provide the care necessary for a quick recovery.
In the case of a team mishap or defeat, the care most required is simply the presence of the leader and a willing ear. Anything more, and a leader actually impedes recovery, not aids it.
Leaders who don’t quickly arrive at the scene and offer the support of their presence miss the boat. They don’t need to offer optimism or words of wisdom. They simply need to be present.
The best leaders resist the urge to add any more value. At least initially. They just show up. Without pointing fingers or finding blame for whatever has transpired.
Until the emotional sting of the setback or defeat begins to fade, their highest and best use is to simply engage positively. The team is not yet ready for words or explanations or cheerleading. They need to get past the disappointment or disillusionment of the negative outcome.
This usually doesn’t take very long, depending, of course, on the severity of the mishap and the likely consequences or repercussions of the event. The time it takes for most teams to recover is measured in minutes, not hours. But those are precious minutes where the only essential message that must be conveyed through the facial expressions and body language of the leader is one that has no hint of disappointment or disgust.
Once the team recovers their equilibrium, it is time for positivity and optimism to flow from the leader. Valuable lessons and insights can now be shared. While every situation calls for a distinct message, the key is not to go there too quickly. Leaders must resist the urge to give the pep talk before the team can actually hear and appreciate it.
The best leaders are first responders and then masterful coaches. They don’t skip the responder part. Show up physically as soon as you can, but don’t say much until people are ready. You’ll know when.
“Until the emotional sting of the setback or defeat begins to fade, their highest and best use is to simply engage positively.”
“Leaders must resist the urge to give the pep talk before the team can actually hear and appreciate it.”
“Show up physically as soon as you can, but don’t say much until people are ready.”
Act like a first responder. Fill their cups. Then you can start to teach again.