The Last Lesson

Fifteen years ago - so hard to believe it’s been that long - on the Monday after Thanksgiving in 2008, I was getting ready to head down to practice at Rhode Island College when my cell phone rang. At RIC my office was in the Recreation Center, across campus from the Murray Center where we practiced and played, so we had to actually get into our cars and drive down to the Murray Center for practice. As I walked out of the Rec Center towards my car, I looked at my phone. It was my Dad calling.

It was odd that my Dad would call at that time, because he knew we practiced late in the afternoon. I had a lot going on getting ready for practice, so I let the call go. I’d give him a call back after practice. I got in my car and started driving down the Rec Center, and my phone rang again. It was my Dad calling again. I figured maybe he just had to ask me a question about something so I picked it up.

It’s hard to describe the feeling you get when your caller ID says “Dad” yet the voice you hear when you say hello is one you don’t recognize. My insides felt hollow. I was sitting at a stop sign waiting to make a right turn when I heard “Detective with the Tampa Police department.” My father had recently bought his retirement home in Tampa. “I’m very sorry to inform you…”

My father had been found by his cleaning lady, dead of a heart attack. He was 63 years old. Just like that, my father was dead. I was too stunned to know how to feel.

I drove down to the Murray Center, parked in the parking lot, and called my brother. I got his wife, who said he was not feeling well and was sleeping. I told her he had to wake him up. When he came to the phone I just said “I just got a call from the Tampa Police department. Dad’s dead.” They had picked up my Dad’s cell phone and looked at his text messages. I had texted him the day before to let him know Providence College was in Anaheim in a tournament, and their game was on TV if he wanted to watch it. He never got the text. The Tampa Police did.

I went inside the Murray Center, totally stunned, and told my AD. I went into the gym and gathered my players who were warming up before practice, and told them. It seemed weird that I told my team before I told anyone else in my family, but I had to let them know I wasn’t going to be at practice. I called my girlfriend – now my wife – and can still hear the shock in her voice.

I went home and called my brother again, and we started calling family and close friends. The feeling is hard to describe, it’s like being in a daze. I was shocked, stunned, empty, yet there was a lot of work to do. We had to let people know, to start thinking about arrangements. Throughout all of it, as bad as I felt, I had this one overriding feeling: Lucky. It’s still hard to explain how I felt that way in that moment.  I had a great relationship with my father, and I just felt lucky to have had the relationship I did with him for 36 years. I still feel that way to this day.  As stunned as I was, I just kept thinking about how lucky I was, and I guess that helped me get through that day somehow.

My father was very successful. He grew up in Parkchester in the Bronx and had to work hard to get to college. He attended Iona College just North of the City, joining the Marine Reserves to help pay for school, and started a career in business upon graduation. He took a job out of school with KPMG, one of the big accounting firms in New York City, and ended up spending 38 years with the company. By the time he retired he was a senior partner with a big office on Park Avenue. He was very actively involved at Iona College, his alma mater, as the President of their Goal Club, as well as their Alumni Association. He joined a golf club in Westchester and served a stint as the President there. He served on a number of different Board of Directors for different organizations.

My father’s wake was a few days later on Castle Hill Avenue in the Bronx, the neighborhood where he grew up. He was still a working class kid from the Bronx, but he had worked his way into being very well off and connecting with some very successful people. It was overwhelming to see so many people show up to pay their respects. Whenever your in the situation where someone close to you has a death in the family and you feel like your not sure what to do, just show up. That’s what you do. You show up. It really helped my brother and I to see so many people who cared about and had been impacted by our father.

The wake was a who’s who of powerful people. College President’s, executive VPs, high-powered attorneys, wall street millionaires. It made my brother and I feel very good to see so many of my Dad’s friends and associates. The line was long and it took a couple of hours to see everyone.

Towards the end of the night a man walked in who looked a little out of place. He was wearing a baseball cap and a pair of khakis with a golf shirt and a rumpled jacket. He had a work ID badge hanging around his neck, looking very blue collar in a white collar crowd. I noticed him as soon as he walked in, and I didn’t recognize him. He didn’t talk to anyone, he just waited on line and made his way up to our family to pay respects. He shook my hand and simply said “I’m so sorry for your loss. Your father was a great friend to me.” I said thank you, but didn’t ask him who he was. After he got through the line, he went and sat in the back in a chair by himself. I noticed he said a few words to a few of the people from my Dad’s office. Then he got up slowly, put his cap back on, and started to walk out.

I wanted to talk to him before he left, but I hesitated because I didn’t want to make him uncomfortable. I didn’t want him to think that I was stopping him because I didn’t know who he was. I watched him walk out the door of the funeral home and head back down Castle Hill Avenue – past a number of car service Town Cars ready to take some of the attendees back into Manhattan. He put his cap on and walked back towards the 6 train.

This man was on my mind all night. Before everyone left, I asked one of my father’s work associates if they knew who he was. I thought I had seen him talking briefly with some of the people from my Dad’s office. It turns out he did work in my Dad’s office – in the mailroom. He delivered the mail to my Dad’s floor of his Park Avenue office building. He would sort the mail for my Dad exactly how he wanted it. He would bring my Dad his coffee with the mail in the morning, make sure he had an umbrella when it was raining, call down to make sure my Dad’s car was ready in the garage when he needed it.

My Dad had asked him what his name was, befriended him, and developed a relationship with him. He asked him about his family. He found out he had two young kids in catholic grammar school.  He’d buy them Christmas gifts so they had nice toys under the tree.  At different times when things were a struggle, my Dad had helped out by paying the tuition for his kids so they could stay in the school in their neighborhood. He helped out the family whenever they needed something over the years, and he, his secretary and the family were the only ones who knew about it. I had never met the man or his family.

When I learned about this, I couldn’t hold back the tears. This man had gotten on the 6 train in Midtown Manhattan and taken a one hour subway ride to Castle Hill, then walked the six blocks to pay his respects, to say “I’m sorry for your loss” to two sons he had never met. He didn’t know us, and hardly knew anyone at the wake. He certainly looked a little bit out of place. But he knew my father, and considered him a friend.

I still think about him all of the time. I can still see him putting his hat back on and slowly walking up Castle Hill Avenue to the Subway station. He spent at least two hours on the subway and waited at least 30 minutes in line just to pay his respects. I didn’t even know who he was, nor did my brother.  We would have had no idea if he didn’t show up.  But he made the trip anyway.

I am very lucky to have had the relationship I did with my father, to spend the time with him that I did. I’m also very proud of the way my Dad lived his life. He made a lot of money and traveled in circles of very successful people. But he was always the same person, the kid who had worked his way out of the Bronx. He had no sense of entitlement about him. I learned so much from him, simply from the way he lived his life and how he acted towards others, even those he didn’t know. He treated everyone with dignity and respect and went out of his way to help people who needed help.

That night, that moment, that man who showed up to pay his respects for my father made me think about how I live my own life. Do I treat everyone with the same respect? Am I courteous and genuine to everyone I meet, regardless of their circumstances and what they can do for me? Do I give people the benefit of the doubt if they are struggling with something, not knowing what might be going on in their life? Do I show the right amount of gratitude in my daily routine?

How do I treat the people in my “mail room?”  We all have people in the mail room in our life. How do we interact with those people? Do we treat them with respect and go out of our way to make sure they are comfortable? Do we think about what we can do to help them? Or others who might not come from the same background that we do?

What am I doing every day in my life to make sure, when it’s my time, that the guy in my mail room is going to show up for me?

That was the last lesson my father ever taught me.

Transcending the Environment

https://twitter.com/WDWconvo/status/1525993080205230081?s=20&t=Ojc7HD3fPAozMtT7aAtyMg

Curiosity and Leadership

A trait I usually find in the best leaders I coach is curiosity. Great leaders are naturally curious about their teammates. I'm not sure this is something you can teach. It's more of a personality trait than a skill you can cultivate. And to me, it's a trait that helps make you an effective leader.

Many players don't have the ability to think about others while they are playing. It just doesn't come naturally to them. It doesn't mean they aren't good players - some of the best players I have coached are self-centered. They focus on their job and they do it well. They don't play selfish, and they can still have an impact on their teammates. They are just locked in on what they have to do, and they don't really think about anything else.

The player who is always talking practice, who knows all the plays from all five spots, who can captain the defense and continuously talk to the ball - to me, that's the guy who is the best natural leader. He's not just talking, he's talking because he's invested in his teammates and naturally interested in what they need to do. Not only that, he has the ability to do his job and think about the other guys on the floor. It's not that simple, and it's not easy for everyone. And it doesn't mean this guy is a great player. He's a great teammate, and a great leader, but not necessarily the best player.

When you are looking at leadership traits with your team or in recruiting, think about how curious a player is about those around them. You'll see clues on the court and off the court. The guy that has a natural interest in the people around him - and their feelings - that's the guy who can be a big-time leader for you.

The Last Lesson

Sixteen years ago, on the Monday after Thanksgiving in 2008, I was getting ready to head down to practice at RIC when my cell phone rang. At RIC my office was in the Recreation Center, across campus from the Murray Center where we practiced and played, so we had to actually get into our cars and drive down to the Murray Center for practice. As I walked out of the Rec Center towards my car, I looked at my phone. It was my Dad calling.It was odd that my Dad would call at that time, because he knew we practiced late in the afternoon. I had a lot going on getting ready for practice, so I let the call go. I’d give him a call back after practice. I got in my car and started driving down the Rec Center, and my phone rang again. It was my Dad calling again. I figured maybe he just had to ask me a question about something so I picked it up.

It’s hard to describe the feeling you get when your caller ID says “Dad” yet the voice you hear when you say hello is one you don’t recognize. My insides felt hollow. I was sitting at a stop sign waiting to make a right turn when I heard “Detective with the Tampa Police department.” My father had recently bought his retirement home in Tampa. “I’m very sorry to inform you…” My father had been found by his cleaning lady, dead of a heart attack. He was 63 years old.

I was too stunned to know how to feel. I drove down to the Murray Center, parked in the parking lot, and called my brother. I got his wife, who said he was not feeling well and was sleeping. I told her he had to wake him up. When he came to the phone I just said “I just got a call from the Tampa Police department. Dad’s dead.” They had picked up my Dad’s cell phone and looked at his text messages. I had texted him the day before to let him know Providence College was in Anaheim in a tournament, and their game was on TV if he wanted to watch it. He never got the text. The Tampa Police did.

I went inside the Murray Center, totally stunned, and told my AD. I went into the gym and gathered my players who were warming up before practice, and told them. It seemed weird that I told my team before I told anyone else in my family, but I had to let them know I wasn’t going to be at practice. I called my girlfriend – now my wife – and can still hear the shock in her voice.I went home and called my brother again, and we started calling family and close friends. The feeling is hard to describe, it’s like being in a daze. I was shocked, stunned, empty, yet there was a lot of work to do. We had to let people know, to start thinking about arrangements.

Throughout all of it, as bad as I felt, I had this one overriding feeling: Lucky. It's still hard to explain how I felt that way in that moment.  I had a great relationship with my father, and I just felt lucky to have had the relationship I did with him for 36 years. I still feel that way to this day.  As stunned as I was, I just kept thinking about how lucky I was, and I guess that helped me get through that day somehow. My father was very successful. He grew up in Parkchester in the Bronx and had to work hard to get to college. He attended Iona College just North of the City, joining the Marine Reserves to help pay for school, and started a career in business upon graduation. He took a job out of school with KPMG, one of the big accounting firms in New York City, and ended up spending 38 years with the company. By the time he retired he was a senior partner with a big office on Park Avenue. He was very actively involved at Iona College, his alma mater, as the President of their Goal Club, as well as their Alumni Association. He joined a golf club in Westchester and served a stint as the President there. He served on a number of different Board of Directors for different organizations.My father’s wake was a few days later on Castle Hill Avenue in the Bronx, the neighborhood where he grew up. He was still a working class kid from the Bronx, but he had worked his way into being very well off and connecting with some very successful people.

It was overwhelming to see so many people show up to pay their respects. Whenever you're in the situation where someone close to you has a death in the family and you feel like you're not sure what to do, just show up. That’s what you do. You show up. It really helped my brother and I to see so many people who cared about and had been impacted by our father.The wake was a who’s who of powerful people. College President’s, executive VPs, high-powered attorneys, wall street millionaires. It made my brother and I feel very good to see so many of my Dad’s friends and associates. The line was long and it took a couple of hours to see everyone.

Towards the end of the night a man walked in who looked a little out of place. He was wearing a baseball cap and a pair of khakis with a golf shirt and a rumpled jacket. He had a work ID badge hanging around his neck, looking very blue collar in a white collar crowd. I noticed him as soon as he walked in, and I didn’t recognize him. He didn’t talk to anyone, he just waited on line and made his way up to our family to pay respects. He shook my hand and simply said “I’m so sorry for your loss. Your father was a great friend to me.”

I said thank you, but didn't ask him who he was. After he got through the line, he went and sat in the back in a chair by himself. I noticed he said a few words to a few of the people from my Dad’s office. Then he got up slowly, put his cap back on, and started to walk out.I wanted to talk to him before he left, but I hesitated because I didn’t want to make him uncomfortable. I didn’t want him to think that I was stopping him because I didn’t know who he was. I watched him walk out the door of the funeral home and head back down Castle Hill Avenue – past a number of car service Town Cars ready to take some of the attendees back into Manhattan. He put his cap on and walked back towards the 6 train.

This man was on my mind all night. Before everyone left, I asked one of my father’s work associates if they knew who he was. I thought I had seen him talking briefly with some of the people from my Dad’s office. It turns out he did work in my Dad’s office – in the mailroom. He delivered the mail to my Dad’s floor of his Park Avenue office building, and my Dad had asked him what his name was, befriended him, developed a relationship with him. He asked him about his family. He found out he had two young kids in catholic school.  He'd buy them Christmas gifts so they had nice toys under the tree.  At different times when things were a struggle, my Dad had helped out by paying the tuition for his kids so they could stay in the Catholic grammar school in their neighborhood.

When I learned about this, I couldn’t hold back the tears. This man had gotten on the 6 train in Midtown Manhattan and taken a one hour subway ride to Castle Hill, then walked the six blocks to pay his respects, to say “I’m sorry for your loss” to two sons he had never met. He didn't know us, and hardly knew anyone at the wake. He certainly looked a little bit out of place.I think about this man all of the time. I can still see him putting his hat back on and slowly walking up Castle Hill Avenue to the Subway station. He spent at least two hours on the subway and waited at least 30 minutes in line just to pay his respects. I didn't even know who he was, nor did my brother.  We would have had no idea if he didn't show up.  But he made the trip anyway.

I am very lucky to have had the relationship I did with my father, to spend the time with him that I did. I’m also very proud of the way my Dad lived his life. He made a lot of money and traveled in circles of very successful people. But he was always the same person, the kid who had worked his way out of the Bronx. He had no sense of entitlement about him. I learned so much from him, simply from the way he lived his life and how he acted towards others, even those he didn't know. He treated everyone with dignity and respect and went out of his way to help people in need.

That night, that moment, that man who showed up to pay his respects for my father made me think about how I live my own life. Do I treat everyone with the same respect? Am I courteous and genuine to everyone I meet, regardless of their circumstances and what they can do for me? Do I give people the benefit of the doubt if they are struggling with something, not knowing what might be going on in their life? Do I show the right amount of gratitude in my daily routine?

How do I treat the people in my "mail room?"  We all have people in the mail room in our life. How do we interact with those people? Do we treat them with respect and go out of our way to make sure they are comfortable? Do we think about what we can do to help them? Or others who might not come from the same background that we do?

What am I doing every day to make sure, when it’s my time, that the guy in my mail room is going to show up for me?

That was the last lesson my father ever taught me.

Are You A Fan?

Are you a fan of your players? There is a lot of research that says one of the best ways you can motivate is to be a fan.

When you coach your team, are you actually a fan of your players? Do you root for them to do well? Do you let them know how highly you think of them? Do you actively cheer for them?

It’s a simple act that motivates, but one that gets lost often. Being a fan. In a lot of ways, it doesn’t fit with what we think of as coaching - being in charge, telling people what to do, raising our voice, correcting mistakes. That’s where we get high on our own power and control. We tell people to do, and we stop being a fan. Instruction is important, of course. We have to teach. But when we get lost in simply telling people what they are doing wrong, we aren’t motivating. We are correcting and instructing, but not always in a positive tone.

Be a fan of your players. It really isn’t that hard. Don’t get drunk on power and control. If you want to motivate your team better, cheer for them. You can instruct them and correct them as well. You can be demanding and hold them accountable. Practices can be tough. But make sure they know you are rooting for them.

“The most important thing you can do to motivate your team is to be a fan”. - From the website Admired Leadership

Steve Kerr on Resilience

How do you play when things aren’t going your way?

Character – Nick Saban

“What you think. What you do. What’s important to you.”

Thibs on Jalen Brunson

“I’ve never seen anyone work the way he does,” Thibodeau said of Brunson. “And he does it in front of everyone, he does it in our gym, does it all summer long, he does it at a game speed. He never has to adjust in a game because of the way he prepares himself.

Is Contemporary Leadership Advice Really Just B.S.?

(From Admired Leaders) Renowned Stanford Business Professor Jeffrey Pfeffer wrote a doozy of a book in 2015 entitled Leadership BS. It seems some titles create more noise years after publication, and that appears to be the case with Pfeffer’s book. It is getting some play once again in small and large organizations. 

Passionate Advocates

An interesting approach from Admired Leaders when you can't find a consensus.

Working toward consensus when making a major decision is a worthy goal. 

Consensus fosters goodwill for future decisions, as well as ensuring the buy-in so critical to executing or implementing the decision. But smart and strong-minded colleagues sometimes disagree. 

When consensus is not achievable, leaders must have an alternate path to make the decision without resorting to making the call unilaterally.

Reviewing the arguments on both sides of the decision and exploring the reasons one or more colleagues can’t live with it will assist the team and the leader in moving toward a choice. But the best leaders always listen for passion around a decision. They look to see who feels the need to champion the idea. 

Tuning into the frequency of passion helps leaders sort out where the whole team really stands on a decision. Because it is always easier to dispute or reject a decision, passionately in favor should always overrule passionately against. 

The key is to find a quorum. 

When consensus is negated, identifying two or more passionate advocates lights the pathway forward. With anything less than a core group of zealots in favor of the decision, good leaders should share the discomfort of those against the decision and keep the issue on the table until a different solution or choice presents itself. Without the passion of multiple advocates, decisions need to be delayed. 

As the writer E.M. Forster liked to say, “One person with passion is better than forty people merely interested.”

Passionate advocates tip the scales when consensus can’t be reached. Find them, or mark time until you do.

Culture or Talent

What's more important to you as a coach - your culture or your talent? I think a lot of coaches would answer that question by saying their culture, but that won't always be reflected in their actions. It's easy to say our culture is what's most important, but it's hard to pass up elite talent.

I don't know that there is a black and white answer to the question of culture or talent. You need a lot of both to win consistently. And there are plenty of players who are talented and great for your culture, so if you constantly face the question of culture or talent in recruiting, you probably aren't recruiting the right people.

I'm always willing to sacrifice a talented player for the culture of my team, and I think that can be very powerful. During the season, I'm definitely a culture first guy. But when I'm recruiting, I don't see it the same way. That's not to say I'd go out and just recruit all knuckleheads and not consider their character or how they'd fit into my team. But I do think in recruiting you are trying to acquire talent, not culture.

I'm not sure you can really evaluate culture as well as you'd like in recruiting. Do you really know how a player is going to respond to the way you communicate and hold them accountable? You can get a feel for the character of the player and how coachable he is, but you really don't know how he'll respond to tough choices and things he doesn't like until you get him in that situation.

I think you need to be open to taking some talented kids that might not fit your culture. First of all, you might be wrong about them and they might fit in just fine. Secondly, not everyone on your team is going to be a leader for your culture. Some guys are just going to put up with everything and toe the line because they want to play. And that is fine. I've had plenty of important contributors on my teams who you would not consider great culture guys. If your culture is strong enough and your leadership is effective you can certainly absorb a few of those guys.

This doesn't mean you should be looking to recruit bad kids. But I do think you should have an open mind when acquiring talent for your team. Maybe a player doesn't seem like the typical kid you'd like to coach, but that isn't always a bad thing. I've learned a lot from players I've coached who've had a different approach, and they've added a lot of value to our culture.

When I'm coaching my team, culture always comes first. But when I'm recruiting, the first thing I'm looking at is talent. Character and fit will always matter, but natural talent is important. If your culture is right, you'll be surprised at how much you can get out of talented players who might be a little bit different or not necessarily be a perfect fit for you culture.

Relationship With Decisions

As a coach, what is your relationship with your decisions?

Good stuff from Admired Leaders:

Leaders develop a distinct relationship with the decisions they and others make. Decisions can be owned completely, partially, or not at all. Interestingly, the degree of ownership for a decision has little to do with the quality of the decision or whether the leader thinks it is a wise choice. 

Even believing a decision is the right or best choice does not equate to fully owning that decision. The commitment to fully embrace a decision is left entirely up to the leader. It can never be forced or compelled. It is always a leader’s option as to how much they support or oppose any decision. When leaders fully own a decision, they hold both themselves and others accountable to every aspect of it. 

While this sounds like a decision-by-decision choice, leaders relate to decisions in generally the same way. Those who are tepid with some decisions rarely make the full commitment to own any decision, even those they make themselves. 

In other words, leaders typically display a common pattern of ownership across decisions, regardless of context.

A leader’s relationship with decisions has a massive impact on how effective they and their team will be over time.  Teams always know exactly how committed their leader is to a decision. 

Whenever a leader wavers to any degree in their allegiance to a decision, team execution suffers. Because a leader’s relationship with a decision is reflected in the plans, metrics, tactics, and timelines involved with implementing it, team performance is hugely impacted by it. When leaders hold their full commitment in reserve, team members respond in kind. 

The best leaders know this and make it a point to strengthen their relationship and commitment to all decisions. They choose to own decisions completely or resist making or finalizing them. When faced with decisions from above, true leaders decide to commit, even when they disagree. 

In organizations, there is no such thing as faking ownership of a decision. Everyone can tell exactly where the leader stands regarding the decision. Team execution depends on it. 

What is your relationship with decisions?

Tampa Rays Approach

Tampa Bay Rays President of Baseball Operations Erik Meander talks about their approach. Are you willing to look at things differently, and judge how much weight should be put into certain areas regardless of how everyone else is looking at it?

Their goals, he said, “are similar to any other organization’s goals.” And that is to win as many games as possible. But he conceded that they might look differently than other teams at the things that happen on a field and how those things connect to winning.

Said Neander: “Does the industry put more weight on some of those than others? Less weight on some of those than others? And how confident are we willing to (be to) invest in those areas where we think they might not be as weighted? Are we going to be right? I don’t know.

“Everyone has those beliefs and opinions of where that is. But you know, it’s just something that we constantly try to stay at that — and just try to make sure that we’re appreciating what we think is in front of a player and not just what’s behind him.”

Promoting Intrinsic Motivation

This is a very interesting post between intrinsic and extrinsic motivation from Admired Leaders. When trying to motivate our coaches, players and teams, I think this is often overlooked. We think of motivation as reward, punishment or incentive - giving our kids a penalty if they do it wrong, or a reward if the do it right. But that type of motivation generally helps in the short term, but doesn't last.

Studies have shown that the best motivators are intrinsic - autonomy, mastery and purpose. People are inspired by having control of their work, the ability to do that work at a high level, and the purpose behind that work - as in, what impact is this going to have? Think about that when you try and motivate your players and your coaching staff. A short term reward is nice and has an impact. But over time, what most people are looking for is autonomy, mastery and purpose.

How can you provide that as a coach?

From Admired Leaders:

Rewards and punishments shape behavior in powerful ways, but they often rob people of their internal self-motivation to perform. 

When team members are motivated more by the inherent enjoyment and meaning found in the desired actions than by the material consequences of those actions, they are said to be intrinsically motivated. 

Research for more than 50 years has proven an important point: Leaders who encourage and promote more intrinsic motivations for those they lead can have a profound impact on what can be accomplished. Those motivated intrinsically overcome adversity and generally outperform others. 

In short, because other methods are easier, and they work. Extrinsic motivators such as incentives, increased influence, elevated status, and praise are highly effective, especially in the short term. Moreover, designing ways to promote intrinsic motivation is not always obvious or simple.  

But learning how to motivate team members without resorting exclusively to outcome-based incentives is well worth the time and effort. 

So, let’s start with the fundamentals. Any environment where leaders give team members more autonomy, invest in their competence and enjoyment, and create an avenue for connectedness to peers creates higher levels of intrinsic motivation. 

Of the many ways to promote intrinsic motivation, two stand out. Asking team members what tasks, projects, or work they most enjoy and relish is a shortcut to getting them engaged with those assignments. At least a portion of the everyday challenge for team members needs to include work they take pleasure in. 

Next, investing in the skills of team members through clinics, practice sessions, and outside experts is yet another avenue to promote intrinsic motivation. Once again, knowing what skills team members want to enhance and giving them the time, resources, and expertise to do so is a big intrinsic winner. 

When motivated from the inside, without rewards dangling in front of them, team members expand their potential by working harder and smarter. Task enjoyment and skill enhancement are two important ways to encourage self-motivation. People are born with intrinsic motivation. The best leaders just remind them how to rediscover that inner drive.

Justin Minaya

In September of 2021, Ed Cooley wanted to have a meeting with his veteran players. We were coming off a below average year at Providence College (the covid year, played in front of no fans) and we had lost our best player, David Duke, to the NBA. We were fortunate that the NCAA granted everyone an extra year due to the pandemic, so Nate Watson and Noah Horchler came back for one more year. They would be our starting front court. We had Jared Bynum, Ed Croswell, and AJ Reeves returning, and we added two graduate transfers out of the portal, Al Durham from Indiana and Justin Minaya from South Carolina. We had seven players in their 4th, 5th, or 6th year of playing college basketball.

Needless to say, all of them expected to be impact players and play a big role. We talked about it a lot that summer, how everyone was going to have to sacrifice. Not everyone could start. Coach Cooley wanted to address that with the veterans, all of whom we expected to play a big role. He brought all seven of them in for a meeting in September to talk about the situation, and to make sure they all understood that no matter who started, everyone was going to play significant minutes. But no one was going to play as much as they'd like.

After Coach spoke to the players, Justin Minaya was the first to respond. "Bring me off the bench coach. I just want to win."

We ended up having a terrific year, winning the Big East regular season title for the first time in school history and advancing to the Sweet 16. The new guys fit in seamlessly with our returning players. We. were tough and connected, as you would hope with one of the most experienced teams in the country. We got off to a great start and never looked back, winning a ton of close games in the process. That team became "Them Dudes" to Friar Nation, and they'll be remembered in Friartown forever. It was a magical ride.

That team seemed to overachieve all year we won a ton of close games. The only way I can describe that team is that everyone was about winning. We had a bunch of veteran players who were over themselves - they had been through a lot as college basketball players, and none of them had really experienced much success. Nate Watson was the only rotational player who had ever played in the NCAA Tournament on that team. They were mature, they were about winning, and they weren't really concerned with who got the credit.

That "Them Dudes" squad was defined by what Justin Minaya said in that September meeting. Statistically we weren't great, and our individual talent didn't scare our opponents on a scouting report. But we kept finding ways to win. And Justin defined that every possession he played. He ended up starting 25 games for us that year because some other guys had injuries, which is ironic since he was the one who volunteered to come off the bench. He ended up being a guy we just needed to have on the floor.

I've always been a numbers guy. I get there are some things that don't show up in the box score, but for the most part you can usually see the level of impact in the statistics. It's a measure of production. But Justin Minaya was different. He averaged 6.5 points and 5.5 rebounds, and I can't imagine another player with those numbers who'll be revered anywhere the way Justin will be in Providence. He was a fan favorite immediately, and he did a ton of stuff that didn't always show up in the box score.

He created a bunch of extra possessions with effort plays. He'd keep plays alive on the offensive glass. He'd deflect a pass in transition to stop a fast break. He'd force the other teams best player into bad shots. And for someone who shot 31% from 3, he hit a ton of huge shots late in close games. All the while he was as good of a teammate as you could ask for. He brought it in practice every single day. His motor never turned off. He never took himself too seriously and always had a positive approach. He was a winner every day who constantly did things that made his team and his teammates better.

Anytime a player you've coached makes it to the NBA, you feel great. They've achieved a lifelong dream. But I was a little more pumped when Justin Minaya got called up by the Trail Blazers for the last two weeks of the season. He's not a kid who anyone saw as a potential NBA player based on his skill set, but the more you are around him, the more you get to coach him, the more you realize he's just got something special. If there was a stat for "Impact on winning that doesn't show up in the box score, Justin Minaya would be an All-American. He helps his team win every day. Justin Minaya, who averaged 6.5 and 5.5 in his last year in college, is an NBA player.

These are qualities that are hard to recognize and even harder to define as a coach. We've all had guys who were just "we're better when he's on the floor" guys. Even though we may not know why. But if we drill it down we should be able to define what makes our team better - what plays impact winning. We see it every day, but I'm not sure we recognize it or understand how to coach it. Justin Minaya - and that team - made me better as a coach, because they made me really analyze different ways we had success. It's our job to win, and to do that we should be able to evaluate and quantify the things that help us win. Every day Justin Minaya helped us win.

A lot of people ask what made that Providence College team so special, and it wasn't just Justin Minaya. It was an approach that put winning above everything else, with a maturity level that made it possible. Al Durham, Noah Horchler, Nate Watson, AJ Reeves - everybody made it happen. But Justin Minaya defined it. His selfless approach to winning, to team basketball and his willingness to sacrifice was contagious. He made winning plays all the time.

It helped make that team great, and it helped make Justin Minaya and NBA player.

Team Chemistry

Interesting look at team chemistry from Admired Leaders. Chemistry is a buzzword for a lot of coaches that remains undefined. I really like the idea of chemistry as a "quality of the interaction" between people. I've never been a huge believer in chemistry because I don't think we look at it the right way. We think of it as teams that go out to the movies together and enjoy meals with one another.

Chemistry on the basketball court is about the "quality of the interaction", and not much else. Are we helping each other on defense? Are we keeping the right spacing on offense? Do we sprint back all of time? Do we make the right pass on time? Teams that are fully connected interact the right way on the court, and that has nothing to do with whether they like each other or hang out at night. I've had plenty of great teams with starters who didn't really get along away from basketball, but were locked in on the basketball court.

"We can experience chemistry with someone very unlike us or who doesn’t share our views because it is first and foremost a quality of the interaction between people, not the tasks or content they discuss or work on."

Admired Leaders

When it comes to social connection, chemistry is a metaphor for things that go together seamlessly. 

Teams and relationships enjoy chemistry when the parties complement each other in such a way as to create an unusual connection. Because it can’t be easily measured or quantified, chemistry is scoffed at in some leadership circles. 

Yet, the metaphor and its impact are described by so many leaders and team members, there must be something there worth considering. Just because something is hard to measure doesn’t mean it doesn’t exist.

The outcomes of chemistry are well-documented. Teams and relationships that experience chemistry work more collaboratively and offer the support that feeds performance. Chemistry ignites engagement and curiosity between people. It’s a hidden differentiator. 

The recipe for chemistry, however, remains somewhat mysterious. It can’t always be created on purpose. A myriad of factors helps to promote it, but no one ingredient creates the unusual affinity chemistry affords. 

In making sense of how chemistry comes about, it may be more useful to understand that it is always grounded in the conversation shared by the parties. That is to say, chemistry is located in the conversation between people, not in the feelings or beliefs people have of each other. At least not initially. 

We can experience chemistry with someone very unlike us or who doesn’t share our views because it is first and foremost a quality of the interaction between people, not the tasks or content they discuss or work on. If the recipe for chemistry always required trust, respect, and like-mindedness, we wouldn’t experience it with people and teams that are new to us. 

The ability for the parties to engage and expand the dialogue and conversation feels less like work when chemistry begins to materialize. Later, once the parties recognize the ease by which they can converse and exchange ideas, they come to realize the conversation is markedly different from others they experience. It is this conversational ease that both reflects and creates chemistry between people, in relationships, and in teams. 

The next time you experience or observe chemistry between people, watch how different the interaction is. It flows, as if it is lubricated by some unknown spirit. The underlying accent of the conversation is chemistry in action. Or perhaps it is chemistry itself. 

"Are You About Winning?"

https://twitter.com/thewinningdiff1/status/1639230633510862851?s=20

General James Mattis

"Engage your brain before you engage your weapon."

Fascinating words from General James Mattis to his troops on the eve of battle:

I sat in the hard pebbled sand eating cold vacuum-packed hot dogs as I watched Peter Jennings about 10 feet away from me broadcast live from Kuwait. It was mid-March 2003. How surreal this was, being the center of the world’s attention.

After he wrapped up, I walked back to our Hummer. The officer in charge of our detachment walked up to me with a stack of papers.

“General Mattis wants every Marine to get a copy. Make sure our guys get some, Sergeant,” he said.
I looked at my copy and read:

(I urge you not to read this from the POV of present day or with 20/20 hindsight or a political view. Imagine you are a Marine on the eve of battle when the future is still unknown.)

For decades, Saddam Hussein has tortured, imprisoned, raped and murdered the Iraqi people…. invaded neighboring countries without provocation…. and threatened the world with weapons of mass destruction. The time has come to end his reign of terror. On your young shoulders rest the hopes of mankind.

When I give you the word, together we will cross the Line of Departure, close with those forces that choose to fight, and destroy them. Our fight is not with the Iraqi people, nor is it with members of the Iraqi army who choose to surrender. While we will move swiftly and aggressively against those who resist, we will treat all others with decency, demonstrating chivalry and soldierly compassion for people who have endured a lifetime under Saddam’s oppression.

Chemical attack, treachery, and use of the innocent as human shields can be expected, as can other unethical tactics. Take it all in stride. Be the hunter, not the hunted…. Never allow your unit to be caught with its guard down. Use good judgment and act in the best interests of our Nation.

You are part of the world’s most feared and trusted force. Engage your brain before you engage your weapon. Share your courage with each other as we enter the uncertain terrain north of the Line of Departure. Keep faith in your comrades on your left and right and Marine Air overhead. Fight with a happy heart and strong spirit.For the mission’s sake, our country’s sake, and the sake of the men who carried the Division’s colors in past battles…. who fought for life and never lost their nerve…. carry out your mission and keep your honor clean. Demonstrate to the world there is “No Better Friend, No Worse Enemy” than a U.S. Marine.

Lower Your Voice to Get Heard

Really good stuff from Admired Leaders. Worth thinking about for a lot of coaches and leaders.

Common wisdom tells leaders that if they want everyone’s attention or to make their advocacy land with force, they must increase their speaking volume. Multiple people in a room or a meeting turn their attention to the loudest voice and often stop talking themselves when one voice dominates. 

The intensity of the language the leader employs, as well as the emphasis they place on specific words and phrases, gathers attention like a magnet. Experience informs leaders that getting heard in a crowded room is never an easy task and they must resort to more extreme amplification of their points. 

But some leaders have learned a different secret. Under the right circumstances, actually lowering volume gains more mindshare from others. Leaders who normally don’t employ high volume often find that when they lower their voices and speak very slowly, others lean in and hang on every word.

Leaders who decrease their volume force others to dial down their own vocals in order to hear what is being said. Lower volume then demands more attention, not less. Suddenly, everyone’s focus is on what the leader is saying, exactly as planned. 

Unfortunately, this tactic doesn’t work for leaders who turn to higher volume most of the time. They unintentionally train colleagues to listen only when their volume rockets, which it usually does. The lesson is clear: How leaders get others to tune into what they are saying speaks volumes about who others think they are. 

Proactivity

"Criticize yourself out loud, which shows people you’re open to being challenged."

https://characterlab.org/playbooks/proactivity/